Bad attitudes, whining, laziness, not listening during school time. We all deal with it, don’t we? Our normal discipline during school was actually adding more bad attitudes to our day, and it was hard to get back to the lesson after a punishment. Then my husband came up with a reward system that totally changed the way we do school.
What you’ll get from this post
- Why we switched from a “mom hat” to a “teacher hat” during school time
- How our five-star system works, step by step
- What we keep in our Friday star store, including free rewards
- How the star store sneaks in a lesson about saving
- Why the first few days decide whether it works
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Chapters
- 0:00 Bad attitudes during school time
- 0:24 Taking off the mom hat
- 1:08 How the star system works
- 2:11 The Friday star store
- 3:36 Free reward ideas
- 4:40 The first few days matter most
Take off the mom hat during school
People are always saying kids behave better for their teacher. What is up with that? That is so not cool.
I was using our normal type of discipline during school, and it made the day worse. After a punishment, it was hard for everyone to regroup and get back to the material. So we needed a different way to handle things during school time. I started trying to put on a “teacher hat” instead of a “mom hat.”
That’s when my husband came up with our star system. It’s totally changed the way we do school, and our kids have reacted really well to it.
How the star system works
- Start every school day by writing each child’s name on the board with five stars under it.
- Erase a star for any small infraction: acting up, not listening, being disrespectful, a bad attitude, or taking too long on an assignment.
- If they lose all five stars, they lose their iPad for the day. For my kids, that’s the end of the world. Choose whatever consequence works for your child.
- Whatever stars they keep, we track all week.
- Every Friday, they shop at the star store.
We do school four days a week, so the most stars a child can earn in a week is 20.
The Friday star store (and a lesson in saving)
Some things in our star store, like candy, cost 20 stars, so they can earn it in one week. But there’s another lesson built in: the value of money and saving. We keep bigger-ticket items they can save up for over however many weeks it takes.
Here’s some of what was in our star store:
- An off-brand Nerf gun
- A stuffed animal (my kindergartner loves unicorns)
- Roblox figures and LOL Surprise toys
- A pretty notebook
- A Lego set (a big-ticket item)
- Little army men
- A really cool dry erase board
- An iTunes gift card so they can buy an app
I made an Amazon idea list for your star store with options for elementary-age boys and girls to help you get started.
Rewards that don’t cost a thing
You don’t have to buy anything. Here are some free ideas:
- Staying up 20 minutes later one night
- Extra iPad time
- More screen time in general
Why it works for our kids
When I threaten to take a star, they tighten right up. They don’t want to lose another one, because they want to earn the things they’ve got their eye on. They also don’t want to lose all five and lose their iPad for the day. It’s turned out to be a great system, and I have to give my husband props for it.
Siblings help too. If someone else gets to pick something out on star store day and you don’t, that’s going to burn. Hopefully they’ll take it even more seriously the next week.
The first few days matter most
The first couple of days are the most important, because that’s when you set up the system’s authority.
- Ding them on everything. Don’t let them get away with anything.
- Show them it’s serious.
- Don’t be afraid to take all five stars. It’s a bummer if they get the big consequence, but hopefully it only happens the first time, or the first couple of days, depending on how stubborn your kid is.
Start out with guns ablaze and stick to your guns. If you’re consistent, they’ll start to respect the system and want to behave and earn those stars. Just know it only works as well as you stick with it.
Key takeaways
- Separate school discipline from regular parenting by wearing a “teacher hat.”
- Each child starts the day with five stars. Small infractions cost a star.
- Losing all five stars means a real consequence, like losing the iPad for the day.
- Kept stars add up for a Friday star store, with bigger items to save up for.
- Free rewards, like staying up late or extra screen time, work too.
- Be strict and consistent in the first few days.
What viewers say
Love that you mention the importance of being consistent and setting expectations at the beginning
@LifeintheMundane on YouTube
The star method! This is a great one! I used a very similar one when I taught. The trick is the be consistent!
@LivingWithEve on YouTube
What an awesome method! I generally have a treasure box they can earn to pick out of at the end of the week! But I like this way way better. I think I am going to implement this system! Thanks for sharing 😊
@TheseDays on YouTube
Things we mentioned
- Star store idea list on Amazon: reward ideas for elementary-age kids
- Homeschool supply list: our everyday supplies
- Our daily schedule for school at home and chores
- 5 tips for a calm and organized school day
- Ideas for keeping toddlers busy
If this helped, come hang out with our crew on YouTube. Subscribe to The Johnson Crew on YouTube.
FAQ
How do you handle bad attitudes during homeschool?
We use a star system. Each child starts the day with five stars, and any small infraction, like a bad attitude or not listening, costs a star.
What happens if my child loses all their stars?
In our house, they lose their iPad for the day. Pick a consequence that matters to your child.
What do you put in a star store?
Ours had candy, toys, a Lego set, a notebook, a dry erase board and an iTunes gift card. Free rewards like staying up later or extra screen time work too.
How do I make a reward system stick?
Be strict and consistent in the first few days. Don’t let anything slide, and don’t be afraid to take all five stars.
More from our crew
- Homeschool Reward System That Actually Works
- 6 Tips to Motivate Your Kids to Get Their School Work Done
- 5 Tips For a Calm & Organized Homeschool Day
Full transcript
Hi everyone welcome back got another video for you today about how we handle bad attitudes laziness and just general not wanting to listen during school time so we all have to deal with it don't we okay so let's jump right in the way that we have found is to take off the mom had during school time people are always saying this that kids will act a lot better for their teacher what is up with that that is so not cool I was doing like our normal type of discipline during school time
And it was adding a lot more bad attitudes to our day it was hard to regroup and get back to the material after they had been punished so it's like okay we got to figure out a different way to deal with stuff during school so try to kind of put on a teacher hat instead and my husband actually came up with an awesome reward system that has totally revolutionized the way that we do school and our kids have reacted really great to it so I'm gonna share that with you in hopes that your kids will love it too
So we call it this to our system so basically what we do is we start every school day with writing their names on the board and they get five stars under their name now if they act up don't listen disrespectful that attitude take too long on their assignment anything a small infraction they get a star taken away it gets erased off the board if they lose all five stars they lose their iPad for the day now for my kids that is like and of the world they are devastated to lose their iPad right whatever is going to be a good consequence for your child is what you could propose
But the reward part of it is that however many stars they keep that day we keep track of them throughout the week and then every Friday they get to go to the star store so we're only doing school four days a week so the max amount of stars they can earn per week is 20 stars we've got like candy in the star store that's worth 20 stars they could earn that that week the other great thing about the star store is that it has another lesson in it
And that is the value of money in a sense the value of what you have to spend and savings so we have bigger ticket items in the star store that they could save up their stars for however many weeks it takes and they could get something bigger so I'll show you some examples of what we keep in our star store by now okay we have an off-brand nerf gun woohoo stuffed animal my kindergartner loves unicorns and all things rings okay roblox something figuring lol surprise finders keepers a pretty notebook a Lego set
Now that's gonna be a big-ticket item little army men a dry erase board that's really cool with bread crams review an iTunes gift card you can buy an app with this or whatever you could do things that don't cost money and if you're not trying to go to the store to pick up this stuff that's okay you could do things like you get to stay up for 20 extra minutes one night you can play your iPad for this much more time you get this much more screen time there's plenty of things you could do that don't have to cost you any money
So I know everyone is trying to not go to the stores right now so I have made an idealist and Amazon that I've linked below that you can check out with some ideas for your elementary age kids boys and girls some different things on there to hopefully help you get started with your star store so that's what we have and the kids they love it when I threaten a star it makes them tighten up they don't to lose another star because they want to earn points to earn the things that they want
And they also don't want to lose all their stars and lose their iPad for the day so it's turned out to be a great system I must say I gotta get props to my husband I will say that the first couple of days of instituting the star system are gonna be the most important because that's when you're setting up the legitimacy and the authority of the star system so you need to ding them on each thing don't let them get away with stuff show them that this is serious
And don't be afraid to take away all 5 stars it's gonna be a bummer obviously if they get that big consequence but hopefully that will only happen the first time or the first couple of days depending on how stubborn your kid is so and then hopefully they'll be motivated yes I want to earn all these stars I don't want to get that consequence and I want to earn that Lego set or that candy bar whatever it is get them excited about it especially that they have siblings
And someone else gets to pick something out on star sore day and they don't ooh that's gonna burn and so hopefully they'll take it even more seriously the next week so start out with guns ablaze and stick to your guns and I think you'll see if you're consistent with how you ding them for the stars that you'll see them start to respect the system and see the legitimacy of it and want to behave and earn those stars so give that a go if you already have some type of system in place I'd love to hear about it
So drop that below in the comments if you have any other questions about how we do that drop me a question and I'll answer a por eso hope you guys have a great day talk to you soon happy silly are you doing to do oh yeah alright so there's two modes in this camera video